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Forgiveness as the Path to Freedom

Updated: May 17, 2023

Forgiveness as the Path to Freedom - Blog by Xandra Hawes, Soul Essence Wellness Center

Forgiveness is often seen as an avenue to heal oneself, and usually involves, in simplistic terms, the process of letting go of emotions tied to a difficult life experience and finding a sense of neutrality. But forgiveness, and the energetic process of forgiving, is not only an opportunity to let things go – it is the ultimate path to freeing ourselves.

When we forgive ourselves and/or someone else, we clear out old energetic cords that we are still stuck in, so we can finally release the past and make new agreements with what we are calling in.

If you’re a sensitive soul, it might feel difficult to untie yourself to things. Perhaps you find yourself always overthinking, or replaying situations from the past over and over. An example of this might be replaying your morning drive to work, where say, you accidentally cut someone off and they sped away, clearly annoyed at your actions. Maybe you find yourself thinking about your mistake throughout the day, feeling bad about what happened, or feeling annoyed by the person’s reaction to your mistake.

It used to take me hours to let go of energetic interactions like this because I didn’t understand how energetic exchanges worked. I often shamed myself for overthinking things, but I didn’t know that holding onto energy could result in an energetic cord between myself and another person. How can we know exactly when an energetic cord forms? It’s simple - anything that doesn’t naturally go away in a few minutes, or that you find yourself replaying or ruminating on, might have an energetic cord attached to it, especially if it feels extra bulky in your headspace.

Here’s another example: Let’s imagine that you have a difficult interaction with a friend or family member, and then you find yourself angrily replaying the experience due to feeling frustrated and anxious. You then notice that this event continues to repeat in your mind, similar to the sensation of having a song stuck in your head. Even when you feel yourself wanting to let the situation go, it continues to pop up and interferes with your daily life. This is a classic example of an energetic cord that has formed between you and the other person. Energetic cords do not have to be negative, however, when we are upset at someone else, we can energetically jump into their space and they can jump into ours, resulting in an energetic battle playing out between both people. Most people do not realize when they are thinking hard about someone or a situation, they are jumping into that person’s headspace and impacting that person’s energy.

Understanding how to release cords and call your energy back is called good energetic hygiene.

Both examples are ways that energetic cords can still be playing out in your life, and applying forgiveness to these cords is the fastest way to cut them, and to also send the other person’s energy back to them, resulting in freedom and healing for both of you.

I’ve studied multiple energy traditions, and awesomely, they all have different names for energetic cords. However, only a few explain a really important detail about cords: If someone is corded into you, they are cording into something in your space that you have given them permission to cord into. I cannot tell you how many people take the victim role with this one. You might feel overwhelmed by another person and feel like they are corded into you, but truly, they can only cord into you with your permission. If we think of the other person like a ship, and the cord like a rope, and you a dock, the ship cannot truly dock without the rope being tied securely to the dock. So, when someone is able to cord into us, they are corded into a part of us that we are giving them permission to cord into. A lot of this can be subconscious, unless we are truly aware of where our insecurities, or lack of certainty and trust in ourselves, lie.

For instance, if you end a relationship with someone, but notice that they are constantly in your space, they actually might be in your space because you are giving them permission to be. This other person might be corded into your guilt for ending the relationship, your insecurity about whether you made the right decision, or even your fear of being alone. If you are feeling certain of your actions, the person might pop up in your mind, but their energy will easily fade out because you feel sovereign in your actions and aren’t questioning yourself or feeling insecure. The person cording into your energetic space likely does not realize this, and you might not be aware of the permission you are giving them, or even what you might be corded into within them. Overall, there can be a lot of unconscious energy being exchanged between two people. When we don’t trust our decisions and question ourselves, this is usually when people can easily access our energy fields and energetically cord into our space.

As you can imagine, healing becomes far more difficult if we are corded into someone else and are not able to be healed by our own energy, and also remain influenced by the other person. Some people are so sensitive they will still hear the other person’s thoughts, feel their emotions and even hear their intentions.

Cords can be incredibly powerful pipelines for us to see into other people’s worlds. When you are craving freedom and healing from a difficult situation, keeping energetic cords intact with the person we are needing space from is going to elongate your ability to heal yourself.

In the energy realm, whenever we think about someone else or replay situations, we jump into their energy space. It’s almost like we try to pull their energy into our field in order to understand what happened. A lot of energy practices talk about putting out energetic protection, which has a lot to do with blocking people from plugging into our space as easily. This is like putting up some kind of energetic firewall like you would have on your computer. However, people cannot take your energy and readily use it like a hacker can take your bank account number off of your computer and use it. But, someone can “take on” your energy into their space, and it will impact them and cause them to make decisions based off of your energy rather than their own. For example, if someone is really excited and interacts with you, you might get a contact high, because their energy floods into your space and you can change your feelings to match it, which might feel good, or difficult, depending on what you want to feel. Although you can be affected by someone else’s energy, you cannot absorb it, because everyone’s energy is unique to them. If we want to get even deeper with this, in the same way that everyone has a different DNA code, you have a unique energy code, and in order to absorb someone else’s energy, you would need to be their same energy code. However, someone’s energy can still sit in your space and you might feel imbalanced by it (and sometimes even confused by it because it is not your home energy code). When you are having a hard time making decisions, it is often because you have other people’s energy in your space.

Let’s look at another example of being influenced by other people’s energy: For the longest time, it was incredibly difficult for me to decide what I wanted to eat at restaurants. Several years ago, one of my psychic teachers told me to energetically ground the menu to send back all of the “I don’t know what to order” energy. This is probably one of the coolest life hacks that an energy teacher has taught me. Normally, it would take me several minutes to figure out what I wanted, but after grounding the menu, it literally took me five second to figure out what I actually wanted. My internal dialogue used to sound like this, “Wow, that looks really good, but kind of unhealthy. Should I be eating healthier? Am I going to digest that well? If I eat that, will I feel bad about it later?” This was the typical dilemma in my head. I never realized how many people also struggle with decision making when they look at a menu, so I always thought it was just me. But when I started grounding the “I don’t know” energy out, I stopped cording into it and matching the confusion energy. I found that I could narrow my wants down to two options almost immediately. Within seconds, I could already sense what was going to be the best food choice for my body without going back and forth about it. It was so reliving to know that when I was sitting in my own energy, my decision became crystal clear.

Truth: We actually know the answer a lot of the time, but when other people’s energy sits in our space, we make decisions based on their energy, rather than our own wants and needs.

Energetic freedom is sending energy back to others and grounding it into the earth. When we have thick, energetic cords that involve other people, forgiveness is the next step to sending this concentrated energy back so that we don’t experience imbalances in our emotional and physical bodies.

A lot of folks resist forgiving themselves or other people in their lives for multiple reasons, but I find that most of the time we are unwilling to forgive others because we feel betrayed by someone or resentful for their actions. To feel betrayed is to feel that someone manipulated or lied to us in some way and can cause us to question ourselves. To be open and vulnerable is a beautiful thing, but if someone takes advantage of this authenticity, it can feel unwise and scary to remain unguarded. Unknowingly, we can carry these energetic stories on our hearts for years, and stay corded into the energy of the event, making it difficult to move through it and heal.

When we wish difficulties and negative energy onto other people, we hold this frequency in our bodies, and we attract more of it into our lives. When we wish good things on others, even those that have hurt us, betrayed us, or made mistakes, we actually free ourselves from being corded into their energy. Forgiveness is FOR GIVING TO US. We give immense healing to ourselves because we quite literally call our energy back to ourselves in order to fill up with our own vibrancy, resulting in more balance and peace. So, how exactly do we call our energy back to ourselves? How do we release cords? There are many, many ways to do this, and it really depends on what type of forgiveness and freedom you are hoping to bring into your life. It can literally be as easy as declaring, out loud, that you are ready to release these cords. An example of this might be: “I now release myself from any energetic cords with ________________ and allow my body the permission to let go of any anger, mistrust, shame (or whatever emotional feels strongly connected to this person), so that I may open to my full spiritual freedom and emotional sovereignty. With this release, I also send back this person’s energy to them in neutrality and forgiveness, so that they may have all of their energy to heal themselves and to move forward. By releasing energy in my emotional and physical body, I sever any energetic cords that remain between this person and myself. I ask that my energy be returned to me transmuted in the form of white healing light and to fill in the places where this cord was once connected to. It shall be so.” Asserting and affirming this out loud to yourself is hugely impactful, as each word you speak is an affirmation, a manifestation, and truly, a spell, that you are casting into your life. If you are trying to release a really traumatic and difficult event that has many layers, it might take time to pull individual strands back within this cord, so writing this down and repeating it to yourself everyday can act as a miniature soul retrieval. As you call pieces of yourself back, the cord will unweave itself and naturally fall apart.

If you are struggling to forgive yourself and feel that you deserve to be feeling pain or grief for your actions, I want you to know that beating yourself up is never the answer to healing and making a different decision in the future.

Yes, we have all made some terrible decisions, and they are often made out of a complete lack of awareness for the other person, or not seeing ourselves fully and honestly. In this life we will accidentally hurt one another because we are learning. And unfortunately, the hardest lessons in our life typically come from really big mistakes and failure. If you continue to beat yourself up, or replay situations and use that to degrade yourself, you will continue to call in situations that reinforce your sense of unworthiness, and you will quite literally push away loving and healing opportunities that come into your life.

If you would like to learn the energy work that can easily remove multiple cords simultaneously, and to also develop a daily practice of this so you can experience vast emotional and energetic freedom, please feel free to book a Soul Wellness Coaching session where we can put together a customized energy practice for you to heal your life with greater freedom and forgiveness.

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